This post is an edited (for clarity and length) entry of Shower Cap’s blog.  You can find the original here:  Showercapblog.com.  I am in NO WAY trying to present his work as mine.  This particular blog entry is so brilliant that I just want his material to get more exposure.

When we tell the stories of these days to our grandchildren, the sudden appearance of murder hornets is when they’re gonna roll their eyes and tell us we’re full of it.  But, they weren’t there.  We had to live through all this.

Many have pointed out that Trump seldom expresses sympathy for the tens of thousands of American victims of the COVID-19 / Golfin’ Thru February Team-up, but boy howdy he sure was delighted to see his murderous chum Kim Jong-un up and about after a rumored secret demise.  If social distancing ends before Trump’s much-anticipated firing, expect him to invite his lil’ buddy to pose for a brand-new coin, embracing tightly atop Otto Warmbier’s grave.

Crews are working around the clock, blast-cleaning the Lincoln memorial in hopes of removing the stench of authoritarian propaganda and experimental hair tonic that persistently lingers following Tangerine Idi Amin’s sad little Fox Nooz “town hall” staged right at Honest Abe’s disapproving feet.  Addressing a fearful nation amidst a crisis with no end in sight, the doddering old jackass whined that Lincoln had it good compared to poor, put-upon, Donald J. Trump, because accountability = assassination when you’re a narcissistic talking tumor.

Speaking of Lincoln, guess who’s under Orange Julius Caesar’s skin (having burrowed through half an inch’s worth of congealed spray-tan lotion to get there, ew) today?  A conglomeration of Never-Trump Republicans calling themselves the Lincoln Project, that’s who!  Their brutal new ad “Mourning in America,” (GET IT?) prompted a presidential meltdown the likes of which we haven’t seen since…well, since he told us all to chug Lysol a few days ago; times are strange.  Anyway, it seems Dr. Dotard understands the Streisand Effect about as well as he does international trade, or the mysterious mechanics of the wily umbrella.

The Administration has banned Dr. Anthony Fauci and other members of the coronavirus task force from testifying before the House, because they really think they can hide 70,000+ corpses under the rug in the guest room.  Honestly, you almost can’t blame them for pursuing the Lie Until the Problem Goes Away strategy that’s served them so well these past three years, but this is getting embarrassing.  Watching Jared Kushner assure us this whole COVID-19 thing is as good as whipped is like watching two fifth-graders in a trench coat trying to buy tickets for an R-rated movie.  (Incidentally, Kid Nepotism’s hair metal cover band, Jared Kushner and the Inexperienced Volunteers, will be opening at Klan rallies ’round the country, sooner than is probably safe!)

Operation:  Coronavirus?  What Coronavirus?  continues on other fronts as well, with a giddy new stooge nominated to take over the principal deputy inspector general post at Health and Human Services from Christi A. Grimm, who mistakenly believed her job was to inform the American people of the truth about Trump’s failures rather than covering them up with scratch-n-sniff stickers.  We’re about a week away from Eric n’ Junior breaking into hospitals to scrawl NUH-UH in crayon on all the death certificates.

Meanwhile, leaked documents reveal the Why Won’t Those Expendable Serfs Leave Me Alone to Golf in Peace Administration’s own models project 3,000 coronavirus deaths daily by June, on account of the whole “suicidal reopening of the economy” thing.  The good new is, these clowns have found an alternate model that believes all deaths will magically stop by the end of next week, based on the world-renowned Just Making Stuff Up school of epidemiology.

Chief Thuglamat Mike Pompeo says he has just oodles and oodles of proof that the coronavirus was concocted in a Chinese laboratory as part of a failed attempt to duplicate McDonald’s secret Big Mac sauce, only you can’t see the proof because he left it at his girlfriend’s house, you wouldn’t know her, she goes to another school and her parents are real strict so she isn’t allowed out much.  Naturally, every other intelligence agency in the world disputes this, but hey, if we’ve got to destabilize the global order to keep the same 25% of the American electorate perpetually inflamed with racist hatred, so be it.

Meanwhile, the Administration keeps skipping international meetings to coordinate the global response to the pandemic, because it’s America’s turn to bring snacks, and Donnie remains a cheapskate at heart.  Also because he’d rather maintain his asinine Pin the Blame on the World Health Organization posturing than actually find a vaccine or cure for this.  Just once, ONCE, I would like the President to do something in the interest of the United States and her citizenry.  Leave us a little mint on the pillow, SOMETHING.

Well, the GOP’s 2020 campaign strategy is coming into focus, and I confess, I’m curious to see how DIE FOR OUR DONORS looks on a red ball cap.  See, Republicans are tired of all you filthy takers, thinking your lives “have value” or “mean something.”  You disposable peons are failing in your duties as profit centers for the uber-wealthy!  You’re not out there working for barely-livable wages, you’re not buying stuff, and now you’re saying you deserve bailouts more than our precious corporations?  No peasants!  Like they say in Shawshank Redemption, “Get busy dying!”

Yes, failing to understand that the sole reason they haven’t been dragged into the streets by angry mobs is that our side is too smart to gather in crowds right now, the Republican Party has decided to lean into their Emperor’s catastrophic failures, embracing a controversial I Mean Yeah There Are Things We Could Do To Save Lives, But They’re Hard And We Don’t Wanna strategy to “fighting” the coronavirus.  Chris Christie, for example, demands Americans accept massive numbers of non-Chris Christie deaths.  And Hairplug Himmler himself, a man who is afraid of stairs, tells us we need to be “warriors,” willing to lay down our lives that he may be reelected, and enjoy the sweet, sweet legal immunity of his office for four more years.

….it ain’t exactly the St. Crispin’s Day speech, y’know?  No, like the overwhelming majority of Americans, I do believe I shall remain snug in my thoroughly-disinfected apartment for the time being, thank you very much.

Anyway, fantastic news broke while I was drafting this piece:  the coronavirus is winding down!  Man, I can’t wait to go to restaurants and movie theaters and coffee sho….hang on, I think I may’ve read that wrong.  Yes.  I see my mistake.  It’s the coronavirus TASK FORCE that’s winding down.  The one operating out of the White House.  Like, the official government response team.  To the pandemic.  Um.

Full disclosure, I have no government experience, I lost the only election I ever stood for*, but this seems kinda like throwing the parachutes out the window two minutes before the plane runs out of fuel, like getting your foot caught in a bear trap and gnawing off your hands, like some third thing I can’t come up with right now.  Basically it’s really stupid, is my point.

Stay safe out there, Resisters, can’t have ya gettin’ sick, we need every vote come November!

*Vice President of the high school drama club.  It was close, but I refused to pander and become a puppet of Big Improv.